Daves Political Commentary

Who needs the CBC to tell who to vote for in the Canadian Federal Election? I can do it right here.

The Right Wing - Conservative Party of Canada. - For smaller government, less taxes, and less government spending. In theory. The last time they were in power they introduced the largest tax hike in Canadian History.

Their Leader: Steven Harper. Apparently he eats Puppies. He imports them from Thailand and only pays 2$ for each one. He only eats half his meals and gives the rest to the immigrant children working in his house.

The Political Centre - Liberal Party of Canada. - Being in power for the last 15 years, the Liberal Party looks to be in big trouble, after a government inquiry suggested that the party had a culture of corruption and illegally shuffling funds into their own parties pocket. The Liberal Party is seen as the default choice by many however, simply because Steven Harpers scares them.

Their Leader: Paul Martin. Apparently he eats Puppies. His side salad is a bowl of money, and his dinner time entertainment is anyone but U2.

The Left Wing - New Democratic Party - All for busting the bank, money for school, health care, decriminalization of prostatution and marijuana, gay weddings for everyone. Even they don't think they can win, but plead with canadians to give them a good standing in the house of commons. Jack Lenin *ahem* Layton, is seen as unrealistic for the most part.. but interesting non-the-less

Their Leader: Jack Layton. Apparently he eats Puppies. He eats them with a hammer and scithe.

The Seperatists - Bloc Quebecouis - A Federal party whos sole intention is to disrupt the federal system long enough for Quebec to leave.. and hope that no one notices that money still goes to them. They are quite popular in quebec because they try and convince the quebec public that the federal government has it in for quebec, despite the fact that most of the government is from quebec. Statistically unlikely that they will win.

Their Leader: Gil Duceppe. Apparently he eats Puppies; And thanks to his opposable jaw, he is able to swallow them live. He will of course deny it unless you ask if he 'mangez les chiots'. To this he will stand proud and say Oui!

THe Awkward - The Green Party - They fell they should be there, but have no nationaly plan it seems. Proove me wrong people.. proove me wrong.

Their Leader: Jim Harris. He's a Vegetarian. His Protein generally comes from bags of nuts.

There are other candidates from other parties, but none of them stands to win any seats. So these are your choices.